What I Would Tell My Younger Self

Originally published on December 18th, 2016

Yesterday I was on YouTube (as I often am), and I saw a video by Dodie Clark. In it, she read out a list of things that she would tell her younger self, and it got me thinking. I was originally going to publish something where I talked about my old journals, and I still may do that later, but for now I think I'll stick with the general idea of what I would tell my younger self if I got the chance. This is going to be focused on my 7-10-year-old self, but I may do one for my 11-14-year-old self later. So without further ado, here are 10 things that I would tell my younger self:

1. Don't think too much...

You're doing just fine, don't worry. 

2. Sometimes girls are just mean...

But they aren't always. You just happen to be surrounded by people who aren't the best, but it won't always be this way. You'll find people who make you happy, and you won't always sit alone at lunch.

3. When a boy teases you, it doesn't necessarily mean he likes you...

Stop thinking it. Bullying doesn't equal affection.  

4. Don't give up on math...

I know, it's hard and you feel stupid, but trust me, you aren't. Math still isn't your favorite thing, but it's getting easier. There's no shame in being a little slower than other people, and remember that you're good at so many other things. 

5. Be honest with your therapist...

That's what they're there for. If you have something you need to talk about it, talk about it.  You'll get farther this way, and you won't leave still having questions. Also, there's no shame in therapy. If it helps you, keep doing it. 

6. It's okay to walk around the playground by yourself...

You may not think so right now, but it is. You're still the kind of person who needs to be alone in order to process emotions, so don't think you need to change or that there's something wrong with you. You're just processing, and this is how you do it. 

7. I don't blame you for not wanting to wear fake eyelashes for the dance recital...

You still find them strange. 

8. Don't stop dancing. Please...

You'll be sad later if you stop. I know your favorite teacher is leaving, and I know the other teacher is scary, but looking back on it, she's not all bad. Keep dancing. Please. 

9. Not everyone feels things as strongly as you do...

I know that you feel other people's sadness; you still do. But not everyone is like that. Don't assume that people will understand your feelings if you don't tell them. 

10. I'm proud of you...

You're doing good. You're smart, and funny, and adorably dramatic. I think you'd like me now... I hope you'd like me now. Keep smiling. I'm proud of you.