Sunshine & People

Originally published on June 22nd, 2017

Last week at 10:00 on Friday night, I got a message from my best friend asking me what I do to cheer myself up. Without thinking, I wrote back "watch Friends, make lists of things that make me happy, buy flowers." As I was falling asleep, I found it funny how even in a tired state I was so used to doing things that would get me out of a bad mood that I could tell my friend what they were in a matter of seconds. The thing is, I am a very anxious person. I have days where I feel really off, and I have days where I'm so happy I could run forever. 

This should go without saying, but I love feeling happy. I smile more, talk more, and laugh more. But you know what I love more than feeling happy? Feeling happy after not feeling happy for a long time. Oddly enough, knowing this about myself has helped me through those stages when I'm not really feeling like myself. Whenever I go through a period of feeling anxious, sad, or generally unhappy, I remind myself of how incredibly good feeling happy will be in just a little while. 

A few years ago, I wasn't able to see past the present in terms of how I was feeling. Now, I'm much better at knowing that a bout of sadness isn't a lifetime of sadness. So for now I'm going to watch Friends, make lists of things that make me happy, and buy flowers. I'll walk in the sunshine and make plans with the people I love because I know that this day, this week, this month is just that. It's not a lifetime, and I'm okay.