A Year of Lasts

Originally published on December 17th, 2017

Yesterday was my last high school Christmas banquet. It wasn't until last Monday that I realized this, and when I did I started to realize all the other "lasts" I'll be experiencing this year. Last Thursday I talked about the Christmas Concerts and how they've affected me over the thirteen years I've been a part of them, and today I wanted to look at lasts as a whole, while also looking back on some of the unfortunate banquets I've gone to (because it's funny to look back on now). 

My Freshman year was filled with many things. New friends, new teachers, and new classrooms to name of few. One of the things I hadn't really thought about until November, however, was the fact that I would have to add "banquets" to the list of new things. Now, the story that follows is one that was terrible at the time but it now absolutely hilarious for myself and my friends from my first high school to look back on. 

I was fifteen, and while I hadn't given much thought into banquets as a whole, I liked the idea of getting asked to one. Although this started as a simple thought of "oh, it would actually be nice to be asked to something like this," it ended up with me being stressed out beyond relief. There was a guy in my Physical Science class and at the time I thought going to the banquet with him would be a good idea. To make a long story slight shorter, he asked four girls and all of them said no. After P.E. one day, I was going to get the permission slip for the banquet (a funny sentence) with some of my friends when I hear a guy in my class yelling out "FIFTH! FIFTH!" and I promptly ran to the step to wait for my mom. To make the story even shorter, the guy asked me on one knee surrounded by lots of other Freshman. Apparently I hesitated before saying yes and then ran behind a wall and started crying, but I don't remember a lot of what happened between seeing someone on one knee and me crying behind a wall. The Living Skills/Spanish teacher ended up making sure I was okay and telling me I could say no later if I wanted to. My best friend's mom saw her making sure I was okay but thought she was the one making me cry so started honking her car horn. It was a cacophony of events in only about five minutes. 

I rarely think back on this story. The actually banquet itself was slightly better, but that's a story for another day. Whenever I do think back to that December afternoon of Freshman year, I think about the banquets that followed. My Sophomore year I studied for a vocabulary quiz because I was lonely, my Junior year I delt with a slightly disastrous miscommunication and jumped in puddles at Winter Wonderland, and my Senior year I laughed with my friends in a school gym filled with Christmas lights. 

If I'm honest, I think part of the reason this year's banquet was so great is because it came without much expectation on my part. In the past, I've gone into December completely stressed about banquets for a myriad of reasons, but this year that wasn't the case. This year, I sat at a table with some of my favorite people and drew smiley faces over the sheet of paper. I took polaroid pictures with my friends and wore purplish heels that I carried out to the car because my feet hurt (but in a good way!). Last night was a beautiful end to the series of high school banquets, and I'm very glad it was. 

Each "last" of this year comes with its own set of emotions. If I'm honest, I wasn't expecting to be hit with these nostalgic feelings until April at the earliest. Knowing me, that's a ridiculous statement because I'm a nostalgic person by nature, but I still wasn't expecting to be writing a post like this quite yet. Still, here we are. This is going to be a year of lasts. Last Christmas concerts, last banquets. Last locker, and last year at home. This is a good year, but also an incredibly nostalgic one. I just need to remember to take it all in for what it is, instead  of constantly living in the past. Before I know it, I'll be writing about my senior year of high school- how long ago it was, how I had so much to learn, and how much I've grown. Before I know it I'll be wishing I was right where I am now. Nostalgia has its place, as long as I remember to live in the now. The now and all it has to offer me. 

Me before my first banquet. A 15 year old who wasn't sure how to curl her hair yet. Also the side bangs, people. Not a good time.